The mental health of men has been a growing topic of discussion over the past year or so. Mental health is an important component of living a happy life that everyone deserves. Men and women are different concerning what makes us tick or have emotional episodes.
Over the past decade, it has become increasingly hard to find positive masculine role models. The lack of “real men” to look up to has created an era of boys that are just lost, giving way for the likes of extreme characters to rise to prominence. Young men are hungry for real role models to come and show them the way of getting the things they want out of life. Nowadays, even the term “being a man” is something that is completely vilified, it is pretty scary to think about how young men that want to be masculine figures are being attacked from every front.
We are seen as success objects, only to have value in the world if we can provide something of use to others. This is fine in our eyes to an extent and a reality that we have widely accepted but when you give everyone participation trophies and say things like “everyone matters” and then turn around without real action people feel lied to.
When we are not of use to others or feel unwanted by those around us, we begin to feel depressed. Now this is completely my point of view and I do not expect you do 100% agree with the things I say but I am asking you for an open mind and to at least hear us out.
We live and die by this rule that people’s actions always speak louder than their words. It is very hard to find people who actually care outside of your family about the issues you have as a man and sometimes your own family does not care. In a world that is more competitive than ever as a man, we have to take life by the balls and steer our own ship in the direction we find suiting.
Find a brotherhood and leaning into a community of like-minded individuals is the first step to men finding that sense of purpose that they desperately need.
Innately we are problem solvers that need to tinker with things and build. Going back to our biology, that is how we are designed. We believe that the first step men need to take they are suffering from mental health issues is tinkering with the way they think of themselves and working on elevating the way they think by consuming information that will leave positive ripple effects on their life. Books are the way we did this outside of counseling and exercise.
We have our thoughts on how to get better with your mental well-being. We have done everything we are about to talk about here and have gone through our own set of mental health issues since the age of nine. This is a topic that we are passionate about.
Finding a purpose in this life should be the number one thing any man should aim for. Something that wakes you up and gives your life meaning. This is an extremely personal journey that only you can dive into. The path to discovery is always paved with different avenues and almost always you’ll find yourself in a dark place when you discover it. Being mentally tough enough to stick through the ebbs and flows of life will make you a stronger individual.
Men have to go through this journey or we are aimlessly walking through life. There is a deep sense of shame when we are not aligned with our purpose, every man will tell you this. When you wake up and do something you hate or are around people that may annoy you it causes a list of mental blockages that make it hard to want to move forward.
Depression, anxiety, mental illnesses, drug abuse, and a laundry list of other issues creep in and consume men’s mental health. We all want and need to find something that we can tirelessly work on and ultimately want to actualize the greatest version of ourselves.
This life is not easy. To think that you have had thousands of ancestors that died before you so you could be alive in this era is a crazy concept to wrap our brains around. Finding purpose in this life is not easy but from one man to another I promise you your purpose is going to be found in building something.
Stand tall brother.
Every great man that has existed through time has been someone who has been through hell and back.
Do it For Yourself
As guys, we always feel as though we have to be selfless for the sake of others. It’s where the nice-guy syndrome stems from. When you are so busy trying to please other people you’re never taking into consideration what lights you up. The shift for us personally came when we started learning that when your intentions are good and you are more selfish around the things you want, life is much more enjoyable. It is okay to be selfish.
What moves you? If you cannot answer at this time there is nothing wrong with that, but you need to find this like you are searching for gold. Those that search will eventually find. This goes for most aspects of life.
Why Men Don’t Talk About Their Mental Health Problems
We believe most men don’t talk about their issues because from a larger view, people do not care. Most men’s experience with talking about issues just lay on deaf ears. This is human nature, we are wired to care more about our issues and what we have going on versus what other people have going on. That is why things like therapy and counseling exist in the first place.
Spotting the Signs of Mental Health Issues in Men
I personally always thought the signs were pretty clear to those that were around me but I soon realized that most people have their own issues they are dealing with, and they may not care to worry about. Sometimes it is hard for even close friends to know someone is struggling but if you get an inkling that someone may have something deeper going on try to lend a hand as much as possible. Even something as small as a text message can brighten someone’s day.
Here are some signs to be aware of:
Lack of communication
Higher levels of anxiety
Getting Help for your Mental Health
If you are seriously suffering you should seek professional help.
There is zero shame in having to do this. This is a hurdle we personally had to jump through and by no means was it easy. None of our family even knows but finding some kind of support while you are struggling is such a positive shift in momentum for those that just need a little help.
Becoming a man, especially with zero guidance and failed generations, is difficult, but also very necessary. Society sees men as disposable objects right now, but we firmly believe that society is wrong. Strong, responsible men are needed more than ever.
We need men to rise back and take back what has been denied to us. There has to be something primal about the sport of jiu-jitsu because inside those four walls it feels as though we are actively taking a step in the direction of doing just that. Men need purpose again, not just for the sake of other people but for them to reach their greatest form. When we do that, everyone benefits by default.
Lack of Empathy for the Mental Health of Men
People tend to be more ruthless with men and the way they view them. In some respects it is deserved, there is no question about that. We can all improve but the finger should not always be pointed. To develop into an outstanding man it takes time, you do not just wake up and become a giga chad that makes no mistakes along the way.
Life does not and will never work in that manner. As a man, you need to understand this. Many people just quit and give up halfway through because of how challenging it can be, we want to see more of you make it to the finish line.
It takes years, in some cases decades to actualize your potential.
Adding value to the world in a way that makes you fulfilled is the only option you have. You have to become a modern-day renaissance man.
When men feel like they cannot provide for or protect those things around them they feel shame and their mental health plummets as a result. Understand that shame is a very negative way of living and walking through this life. Increasing empathy towards others is needed.
Here To Help
If you are a man reading this who struggles with mental health we need you to find a healthy outlet to get things off your mind. We chose jiu-jitsu, whatever it is for you, do it. Remember if it gets too dark to speak to a licensed professional.
Becoming a man, especially with zero guidance and failed generations, is very difficult. Society sees men as disposable objects right now, but we firmly believe that society is wrong. Strong, responsible men are needed more than ever.
We need men to rise back and take back what has been denied to us. There has to be something primal about the sport of Jiu-Jitsu because inside those four walls it feels as though we are actively taking a step in the direction of doing just that. Men need purpose again, not just for the sake of other people but for them to reach their greatest form. When we do that, everyone benefits by default.
Men and women are different, that is okay for us to say but not okay for a lot of people to accept. We both have our own unique traits that we bring to the table and unless we figure this thing out the world will just continue to be a crazy place.