How to Deal With Ego: Change This Destructive BJJ Mindset

You have been rolling for a while now and have seen significant growth in your game but what happens when that new guy who you have never lost to gets the best of you? Or when you are training against someone at a similar level as yourself and it becomes a mental battle. Do you start taking things personally? In this article, we discuss how to deal with ego within a training setting!

You may notice this within yourself or other people you start to train with as you get better. 

How to Deal With Ego: The Me Vs You Mentality

Having this type of mentality can be very destructive for both you and your relationships with your training partners. This way of thinking is a sign of a fragile ego. Cussing or aggressive mumbling, getting visibly upset after getting tapped, stomping around, or the dreaded “let’s roll again” are all signs of this mindset.

Whether it is within yourself or someone else it is important to take note when these things occur. We want each one of you to be good training partners (how to be a good partner) and change if you think this way or at the least protect yourself from those that may be going through this way of thinking on their journey.

This is not a healthy way of approaching jiu-jitsu. We come to the gym to get away from the BS that happens in our everyday life, not to hurt people.

Reframe What is Taking Place

You are growing if you can notice this about yourself, congratulations, but what is really taking place when you go through this? Your teammate is getting better, what a beautiful thing!

There is a dance that is taking place on the mats. Chances are, you have rolled with this individual for some time now, you win, they will go home, adjust and evolve their own game. Then they come back and get the best of you, you go home, adjust, and evolve and the cycle repeats.

The beauty of losing to people who you don’t normally lose to is that it shows you where your holes are so you can get better. You are building each other up. As teammates, we are pulling ourselves to new heights and building a brotherhood!

Habits to implement: When you feel angry after a roll, compliment what they did. Figure out what happened. Turning something negative into something positive is a habit that will carry on much further than just within the four walls of your gym!

Being clouded by anger and overran by emotions is all ego. Look at the lessons you have through losing in a different light. Build up your training partners so that you both can attain your goals and become better versions of yourself.

Happy Rolling!